Of Mice and Men
by Jemmiah
Summary: Just how convincingly can padawans lie to their masters?


OF MICE AND MEN

By Jemmiah

**********

"Well, it was a cool evening. A bit overcast and cloudy. I remember thinking that the people who were in charge of weather control must be away on vacation some place coz they'd really stuffed up big time. There were huge puddles of water lying on the ground from where it had been pouring with rain that morning and it was so deep that it lapped at the top of my boots. I distinctly recall this because my boots need mending and I could feel my socks beginning to get wet at the toes as the water seeped in.

Anyway, we continued to walk along the streets. We sometimes go for a walk at night because it helps us to get away from…I mean, it helps us to clear our heads of clutter. Being near to people, walking amongst the hustle and bustle, watching the pretty neon signs flashing away advertising…things. It's kind of hypnotic. Of course, we were only stretching our legs; there was no other reason that we were heading downtown at that time of day. Well, I say it was day but it was very nearly night. 

We stopped off at some fast food place. I think it was a Corellian eatery that served all kinds of greasy stuff, you know? Things that are so full of oil that it slips out your fingers when you go to take a bite. I had a spiced Nerf sausage in batter with extra helpings of Takkini sauce. It was perhaps a trifle overcooked but perhaps I am being a touch picky, however the sauce certainly made it very palatable even if it did stain my fingers and tongue a rather violent shade of orange. My friend had some kind of burger with green bits sticking out the side. He thought he saw an insect in amongst the greenery and refused to eat the other half, so I had to finish it off for him.

It kept on getting darker and darker but we hadn't realized how far away from the temple we had walked, or how many hours had passed. I think maybe those few drinks we had in the cantina we stopped off at had something to do with it although I couldn't swear to it. It was only after we had left the aforementioned drinking establishment that we realized that somehow or other we seemed to have lost some time. Well, it was such an interesting and unusual phenomena that we felt we had to discuss it and so we went to the Dragon's Teeth Cantina to debate it some more. Then after that we pondered it some more in the Golden Castle Cantina and then we did nothing but confer over the matter in the Assassin's Blade Cantina just a few doors away…

By then it was pitch black and I noticed that my boots were not only stained with water but that someone had also been rather sick on them. I think it might have been me, although my mind was a bit of a blank at that point. Up above you could see the stars swirling about. They seemed to do a lot of swirling for some unknown reason and I remember the road cleaners trying to sweep my friend away as he lay on the pavement. 

We woke up in a skip. It was rather smelly and disgusting but I figured that it was a better place to sleep than the roads. After a little while spent picking strange objects out of our hair we staggered about trying to find the best way home, providing we could find an air cab that would take us. The traffic was very busy that night because there always seemed to be two of everything heading our way, and dodging it was extremely difficult. The speeders and hover cabs were very obliging though because I can remember they came to a screeching halt as we staggered about the road, all making encouraging beeping noises with their alarms. I think we almost got to one side but then my friend thought he saw something interesting on the other side and we crossed back over, much to the delight of the cab drivers. 

I think there might have been a few collisions at one point between the cabs and speeders who were too slow and coming to a halt.

The neon signs seemed a lot sparklier in the dark then they had in the twilight. I know this is a fact because I would never have seen the sign pronouncing the words ALL LIFEFORMS WELCOME: COME IN AND SEE THE SIGHTS if it hadn't been dark. I remember thinking, "How nice. A travel booking establishment." I definitely didn't see the ten-foot tall words BROTHEL until I came out the place a few hours later and neither did my friend. Then again I think at that point he couldn't see very much at all except his feet.

Anyhow, we began to walk back in the direction we thought the temple was in. Speech was a bit difficult at that point so asking directions was not really possible. My friend decided that if we pulled out our lightsabres and waved them at people they would know we were jedi and point us in the right direction. Sadly, there were a few people who thought we were picking fights and one of them hit my friend on the back of the head. 

We crawled away until we headed down this really dark and cold alley. It echoed a lot and smelled of dog's urine. That's when we came across these two mice. Neither my friend or I could see them at first; we just heard these squeaking voices near our feet. It took us a while before we realized what the sound was but just before we nearly accidentally stood on them we looked down and saw the two sweet looking white rodents with lovely, sticking-out whiskers and big eyes.

It turned out that they both spoke perfect basic, much to my surprise. I asked them how that was possible and they said that they were really two teenage college students that some witch-type person had cast a spell on and that if we two fearless and handsome jedi didn't help them they would be stuck like that forever! Well, I don't like to see a damsel in distress, even if she has a tail, so my friend and I picked them up.

I mean, picked them up and put them in our pockets and took them with us.

The mice knew the way back to the temple and they told the air cab driver the directions. You see, the mice said that the spell would be broken if they could spend the evening in the company of two honest and trustworthy gentlemen, defenders of peace, truth and justice who were pure and blameless…but as they couldn't find them so they said we would do. So we took them back and put them on our pillows.

Then next morning the spell was broken and the two mice were no longer mice but had changed back into their usual shapely and nubile selves!"

With that Dex Berlingside exchanged a nervous look with Qui-Gon, before turning back to face Quirida-Xac, Master Yoda and Samir the Togorian council member.

"And that Masters," the eighteen year old padawan swallowed, "is the real reason there were two females in our beds this morning."


End file.
